Walk the Line

I put off watching Walk the Line for years. I didn’t want to watch it knowing that the marriage of John and June came out of an affair. It is just not something I want to watch. On Saturday, there was nothing on that Dean wanted to watch. I am not sure why there were no shows about bidding wars or car remodeling on that day, but there seems to have been a dry spell for his favorite kinds of shows.  We watched a couple of Hallmark movies in the afternoon (be still my heart!)  and then Walk the Line in the evening.

While I was watching it, it really made me do some heavy duty thinking. I also did some research on line.

Johnny Cash’s first hit was I Walk the Line. He wrote it in 1955 when he was stationed in Germany. He was not yet married to Vivian, his first wife. While he was there, the two of them wrote hundreds of pages of love letters to one another. They married when he came home.

Here are the words to Walk the Line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/j/johnnycashlyrics/iwalkthelinelyrics.html

Above are the words to the song. If you read them, you can tell he had a good plan – in fact, a really, really good plan.  He just didn’t follow it very well. I am sure he meant to, but instead, he walked another line - a very thin line between honoring his marriage and crossing the line into a relationship with someone else.

Watching the movie was interesting. A couple of posts ago, I wrote about Dr. Harley’s Book His Needs Her Needs. In it, he talks about building an affair proof marriage. This movie really brought home so many things that he talks about in his book.  Johnny is away too much. He spends too much time with a woman who is not his wife. He puts himself into a dangerous position over and over. Even before the time they actually spend the night together, they have been involved emotionally. An emotional affair is just as much of an affair as a one night stand. It carries so much implication because of the emotional attachment.

What can we do not to cross that line that each of us walks? Here are a few suggestions based on the guidelines of the book:

Guard your heart. Do not share personal things with people of the opposite sex with whom you are not married. This means via text, email, chat, skype, telephone or in person. This means the person that you were attached to in high school and have now connected via facebook. This means your coworker with whom you share an office space. I am sure you can think of other people who become close to you in a work or social setting. .  In an age where almost everyone of us at least one of our own personal communication devices, it is very easy for us to be sucked into communicating in a manner that is private. Do not smudge the line by discussing things about your marriage relationship with persons of the opposite sex. It is way too easy for that person to take on a role of confidant. The line becomes thinner and lighter, making it that much easier to cross. By the time the emotional attachment has formed, the line has been crossed.

 Be an open book. Tell your spouse where you are and who you are with. Those personal communication devices? Let your spouse have access to each and every account – chat, email, text, facebook, etc. At any  time, your spouse should be able to open your account and see any communication. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your spouse to see!

 Make Your Relationship a Priority. That one is pretty self explanatory. Remember that your relationship is meant to be lasting. Just as you maintain your car or your home, maintain your relationship! I suggest purchasing the book, His Needs, Her Need, take the needs inventory test and make a daily practice of meeting the needs of your spouse. You’ll be so glad you did.

It will make it much harder to cross the line.

Blessings!