Before Joy Anna was born, Dean and I got involved with our church's marriage retreat ministry.We went first as a participant and got so much out of it, we went back several times as hosts. We even went to Belize to host a marriage retreat for pastors and their wives there.
These were based on a wonderful book called His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard Harley. I highly recommend it to every married couple - from newlywed (or about to be wed) to empty nest - this book is an awesome book. Don't let the subtitle of "Building an Affair Proof Marriage" scare you away. Most people don't want to even think about an affair being part of their marriage. Don't bury your head in the sand and say it can't ever happen to you - it effects so many relationships. A lot of these are not affairs where there is sexual contact, but they are still things that come between the husband and wife. You don't want that.
This book talks about the ten major needs - There are the top five for women and the top five for men.
This article The Most Important Emotional Needs discusses the concepts in the book as well as linking to the basic needs. Check it out!
One of the needs is "Sexual Fulfillment" Any guesses on whether it is the man or woman who has that in their top 5?
Today, I was catching up on my favorite shows on my DVR. Parenthood is one I really enjoy. All the relationships are in different life stages. One of the couples has a new baby, a son with Asperger's, and a daughter that just left for college. Not exactly empty nest, but they are on the journey to the empty nest just as we were a few years ago. Part of the discussion was they schedule time for sex - they call it "Going to Funkytown" To his younger brother who is a newlywed, this seems silly. To those of us who have been busy with kids and other things, sometimes scheduling is a good thing. If you aren't making time for sex, then maybe you need to get out your calendar and schedule that.
I have been thinking about this post for a few days. I am doing Beth Moore's study of James, and it is taking a lot of time. Part of the series is to memorize the book of James. In fact, it may slow down the blog for a few weeks. But, I digress.
While mulling this over, I read an article by Tim Challies. It is certainly worth your time to read it.
Compromising God's Standards for Sexuality.
His blog posts always make me think. This one was no different, and it went right along with this subject.
Now for you married women who are no longer interested in sex, let me encourage you to go see your doctor. There could be a physical problem. Hormones play a huge part in the the marriage bed. If yours are off, this can really cause a problem. Talk to your doctor. If they are not willing to help you, find another one.
It may not be physical, but it is better to rule that out. There are lots of books and articles on sex withing marriage. Not all of them are written by Christians and often suggest things that we know to be out of God's plan for sexual intimacy in marriage. This is a great book to read - Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Lehman. It's subtitle is "Uncovering the Sexual Intimacy in Marriage."
Sexual intimacy in marriage was designed by God. What a wonderful Creator to plan something that would be such a wonderful thing for His children! I hope if this is something you have an issue with, you'll talk to your spouse and your doctor. If you need to see a professional counselor, look for one who is a Christian and understands God's plan for sexual intimacy. Let's not mess up the beauty of that with all the world is throwing at us.
These were based on a wonderful book called His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard Harley. I highly recommend it to every married couple - from newlywed (or about to be wed) to empty nest - this book is an awesome book. Don't let the subtitle of "Building an Affair Proof Marriage" scare you away. Most people don't want to even think about an affair being part of their marriage. Don't bury your head in the sand and say it can't ever happen to you - it effects so many relationships. A lot of these are not affairs where there is sexual contact, but they are still things that come between the husband and wife. You don't want that.
This book talks about the ten major needs - There are the top five for women and the top five for men.
This article The Most Important Emotional Needs discusses the concepts in the book as well as linking to the basic needs. Check it out!
One of the needs is "Sexual Fulfillment" Any guesses on whether it is the man or woman who has that in their top 5?
Today, I was catching up on my favorite shows on my DVR. Parenthood is one I really enjoy. All the relationships are in different life stages. One of the couples has a new baby, a son with Asperger's, and a daughter that just left for college. Not exactly empty nest, but they are on the journey to the empty nest just as we were a few years ago. Part of the discussion was they schedule time for sex - they call it "Going to Funkytown" To his younger brother who is a newlywed, this seems silly. To those of us who have been busy with kids and other things, sometimes scheduling is a good thing. If you aren't making time for sex, then maybe you need to get out your calendar and schedule that.
I have been thinking about this post for a few days. I am doing Beth Moore's study of James, and it is taking a lot of time. Part of the series is to memorize the book of James. In fact, it may slow down the blog for a few weeks. But, I digress.
While mulling this over, I read an article by Tim Challies. It is certainly worth your time to read it.
Compromising God's Standards for Sexuality.
His blog posts always make me think. This one was no different, and it went right along with this subject.
Now for you married women who are no longer interested in sex, let me encourage you to go see your doctor. There could be a physical problem. Hormones play a huge part in the the marriage bed. If yours are off, this can really cause a problem. Talk to your doctor. If they are not willing to help you, find another one.
It may not be physical, but it is better to rule that out. There are lots of books and articles on sex withing marriage. Not all of them are written by Christians and often suggest things that we know to be out of God's plan for sexual intimacy in marriage. This is a great book to read - Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Lehman. It's subtitle is "Uncovering the Sexual Intimacy in Marriage."
Sexual intimacy in marriage was designed by God. What a wonderful Creator to plan something that would be such a wonderful thing for His children! I hope if this is something you have an issue with, you'll talk to your spouse and your doctor. If you need to see a professional counselor, look for one who is a Christian and understands God's plan for sexual intimacy. Let's not mess up the beauty of that with all the world is throwing at us.
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