This blog post is a little scattered- much like my thoughts. I started it last night:
Thursday is Bible Study Day for me. I started this post this afternoon and saved a space in this post for something about Bible Study. I didn't realize I was going to end up deleting the post and starting over. This week's lessons had been speaking to me all week long. James 1 is an interesting chapter. It starts out talking about being joyful about your trials because it builds perseverance. James also talks about not being double minded.
One thing he says is that if you ask and don't believe you are double minded and can't expect God to do anything for you! Tonight, that was really brought home with something Debbie said about a Plan B. It sort of knocked me right between the eyes.
Let me give you a little background:
Today I had a headache most of the day. A friend asked if I was under stress. Um, let me think about that...yes! Things here are so tight financially. Not only is Dean making a lot less money, but it is more expensive to live here. Right now, I don't feel like I am contributing anything at all. This is an odd feeling. Since this blog is about rockin' the empty nest, I do understand the importance of making the house a home for the two of us. I also know that I can and should be contributing financially - especially when things are so hard.
When the kids were home and I didn't work outside the home, I still felt like I was contributing. Except for the time in El Paso at the church, I haven't had a full-time job since before Eric was born- and that was more then 25 years ago! I was still contributing because I was mom. As much as the dogs like having me home, they don't need mothering. Most of the time, I had part-time jobs that brought in a little money. For the last several years, I have had income from photography. Here, that isn't happening. It is not from lack of trying. I have passed out several hundred cards and made tons of contacts. Nothing is coming from it.
Now for the tie-in with the Bible Study and Plan B.
I mentioned above that it James says in chapter one says to believe and not doubt when you ask God. I keep asking - asking for wisdom to know how to increase the business, wisdom to know who to talk to, wisdom to find the right niche for this area. I ask and then what do I do? I make a Plan B - I start sending out resumes for jobs that have nothing to do with photography. Today, I talked with someone about, I guess, a Plan C. That plan could possible offer me a good amount of money doing something I have absolutely no desire to do. By making a Plan B and a Plan C am I being double minded? Am I not trusting God?
After thinking about this all the way home, after I started writing, I started doubting again.
All of the above was written last night.
When I got into bed last night, I talked to Dean. He says whatever you want to do it fine - just not plan C. Well that still leaves plan A where I wait on God and just focus on photography. Or Plan B, where I apply for some part time jobs to supplement until such a time that photography picks up.
This morning I went to the gym for water aerobics. I have one more class left on my membership. To be honest, I just can't afford to pay for the next quarter. Anyway, while I was there I received a call back from one of the places where I had applied. It is a part time job in retail - some sales, some planning events for the store. Both things I enjoy. I am going to an interview. There is no guarantee I will get a job offer, so it may be a non-issue. Please pray for me/with me that I will make the right decision - that I will trust God and not doubt.
Thursday is Bible Study Day for me. I started this post this afternoon and saved a space in this post for something about Bible Study. I didn't realize I was going to end up deleting the post and starting over. This week's lessons had been speaking to me all week long. James 1 is an interesting chapter. It starts out talking about being joyful about your trials because it builds perseverance. James also talks about not being double minded.
One thing he says is that if you ask and don't believe you are double minded and can't expect God to do anything for you! Tonight, that was really brought home with something Debbie said about a Plan B. It sort of knocked me right between the eyes.
Let me give you a little background:
Today I had a headache most of the day. A friend asked if I was under stress. Um, let me think about that...yes! Things here are so tight financially. Not only is Dean making a lot less money, but it is more expensive to live here. Right now, I don't feel like I am contributing anything at all. This is an odd feeling. Since this blog is about rockin' the empty nest, I do understand the importance of making the house a home for the two of us. I also know that I can and should be contributing financially - especially when things are so hard.
When the kids were home and I didn't work outside the home, I still felt like I was contributing. Except for the time in El Paso at the church, I haven't had a full-time job since before Eric was born- and that was more then 25 years ago! I was still contributing because I was mom. As much as the dogs like having me home, they don't need mothering. Most of the time, I had part-time jobs that brought in a little money. For the last several years, I have had income from photography. Here, that isn't happening. It is not from lack of trying. I have passed out several hundred cards and made tons of contacts. Nothing is coming from it.
Now for the tie-in with the Bible Study and Plan B.
I mentioned above that it James says in chapter one says to believe and not doubt when you ask God. I keep asking - asking for wisdom to know how to increase the business, wisdom to know who to talk to, wisdom to find the right niche for this area. I ask and then what do I do? I make a Plan B - I start sending out resumes for jobs that have nothing to do with photography. Today, I talked with someone about, I guess, a Plan C. That plan could possible offer me a good amount of money doing something I have absolutely no desire to do. By making a Plan B and a Plan C am I being double minded? Am I not trusting God?
After thinking about this all the way home, after I started writing, I started doubting again.
All of the above was written last night.
When I got into bed last night, I talked to Dean. He says whatever you want to do it fine - just not plan C. Well that still leaves plan A where I wait on God and just focus on photography. Or Plan B, where I apply for some part time jobs to supplement until such a time that photography picks up.
This morning I went to the gym for water aerobics. I have one more class left on my membership. To be honest, I just can't afford to pay for the next quarter. Anyway, while I was there I received a call back from one of the places where I had applied. It is a part time job in retail - some sales, some planning events for the store. Both things I enjoy. I am going to an interview. There is no guarantee I will get a job offer, so it may be a non-issue. Please pray for me/with me that I will make the right decision - that I will trust God and not doubt.
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